Date #1

Preamble : Two days after joining Match.com, I exchanged several short emails to #1, nothing too electrifying, but after all it's normally down to the male to supply the funny. A Friday late one at work beckoned and to distract myself from the tedium I was sending messages to #1 throughout the day and into the early evening. She knew where I lived and suggested I pop round to Chelsea Harbour as it was (not quite) on the way home for me and she could probably keep her slippers on. Never one to turn down a date I, well I turned it down. The air-con in work knocks off at 7pm and I was already in need of a full spa weekend let alone a shower. I was hesitant, but had to say no, but suggested tomorrow. She replied positively and agreed.

Location : Chelsea Harbour (despite living in London 15 years I'd never set foot and was pleasantly surprised. It was a lovely warm summer's evening (remember them?) so opted for the light trousers, linen shirt and loafers. It was Chelsea after all.

Stats : Nationality on website - English, nationality in reality, Bulgarian. I must confess that I kind of worked that out from her photos. Well worked out that she wasn't from these shores at least, but a pleasant surprise as I'd never met anyone from there before. 

Talking points : Very little. It was my first date in several months and whilst I'm quite talkative and was obviously asking lots of questions about her background, work (no idea what she does, although she did try to explain it was lost on me) I never got the impression that she was interested in me. No probing questions, just mirrored responses to what I asked her in most cases. Highlight and one of the reasons why we chose that particular location is because she was bringing her dog. Yes it was cute, but I'm a bloke and need a low cut top or short skirt to win me over…. joke! But pets don't win prizes for me despite it's cuteness.

Wife skills : Very little on display. Not a single mention of desiring motherhood or extolling the virtues of making homemade pickled eggs. One issue I did have was her lack of control of her dog who just wandered everywhere. What would she be like with children I thought?

Weird factor : Low. Perfectly normal in appearance and didn't announce any passions for Star Wars or Emerdale.

Snog factor : 5/10

Going Dutch : ££ - picked up by me. But I did have a lot more of the wine.

After effects : Very little. Sent a message online a few days after the date suggesting another drink, but that's all it would be. Not that worked up over uncorking the 'you must come over for dinner' line. That's mainly down to the fact she'd probably bring the dog and the hair would cover the new sofa. The dog's hair, not hers. She did have nice hair though, her not the dog.